Retirement

Well… apparently retiring from this industry is impossible when you’ve got enough energy to power a small city. 😂

My poor car deserves a raise for all I’ve put it through… and my poor gas pedal is filing a restraining order against my right foot. 🏎️💨

Also, to everyone driving 20 km/h in a 50 zone… I promise your destination isn’t going anywhere either fuckers. And taking corners at 2 km/h? Are we transporting a wedding cake or what? 🤣

I switched my work schedule so I can beat the heat. I’m still working full-time, but I’ve learned something important…

I’m not very good at entertaining myself. I gave it a solid three-hour attempt and all I earned was a swollen lip… and before your imagination runs wild, let’s just say it wasn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds. 😂

So I guess retirement will have to wait!

Available daily from 1:00 PM to 8:00 PM.

8:00 PM is my hard cutoff, so if you want to see me, book early and lock in your spot.

Don’t wait too long—send me a message and make your booking now. Come save me from boredom… and maybe save the roads from my lead foot too. 😘💋